Fugging Honey Badgers
70-62
Manager: Garth Graham
Radiologist who named his team after an Austrian village with the unmistakable energy of a 55-year-old professional who spent thirty years being The Respectable One and has finally snapped. This is his one act of rebellion. He probably chuckles every time he types it in the league chat. Reading things others can't interpret is his entire professional skill set, and he applied it to a fake baseball roster and it worked.
Injured List
Carney Lansford
Returns Sep 11
Batters
Simulated 2026
Real Life 1989
| Player | AVG | AB | H | 2B | 3B | HR | RBI | R | BB | K | SB |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| A Farm Graham, Garth | 0.000 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Brett, George | 0.254 | 228 | 58 | 6 | 1 | 3 | 28 | 28 | 16 | 22 | 5 |
| Burks, Ellis | 0.211 | 194 | 41 | 6 | 4 | 5 | 24 | 22 | 15 | 39 | 6 |
| Clark, Jack | 0.233 | 309 | 72 | 13 | 3 | 18 | 57 | 47 | 69 | 109 | 3 |
| Davis, Alvin | 0.309 | 479 | 148 | 28 | 2 | 15 | 79 | 73 | 83 | 59 | 3 |
| Evans, Dwight | 0.234 | 475 | 111 | 20 | 5 | 13 | 60 | 68 | 81 | 99 | 2 |
| Fisk, Carlton | 0.359 | 156 | 56 | 12 | 1 | 10 | 43 | 30 | 11 | 23 | 1 |
| Franco, Julio | 0.289 | 474 | 137 | 23 | 5 | 11 | 57 | 61 | 24 | 65 | 14 |
| Graham, Garth | 0.190 | 42 | 8 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 4 | 4 | 7 | 0 |
| Jacoby, Brook | 0.348 | 66 | 23 | 3 | 1 | 6 | 14 | 12 | 3 | 10 | 0 |
| Kelly, Roberto | 0.296 | 362 | 107 | 15 | 4 | 11 | 41 | 60 | 25 | 82 | 23 |
| Lansford, Carney | 0.293 | 399 | 117 | 12 | 1 | 8 | 44 | 72 | 37 | 31 | 12 |
| McGwire, Mark | 0.333 | 6 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 0 |
| Oquendo, Jose | 0.293 | 276 | 81 | 12 | 1 | 2 | 30 | 37 | 37 | 38 | 10 |
| Reed, Jody | 0.218 | 325 | 71 | 10 | 1 | 6 | 34 | 46 | 30 | 50 | 4 |
| Smith, Lonnie | 0.315 | 435 | 137 | 23 | 1 | 25 | 86 | 76 | 58 | 102 | 11 |
| Whitt, Ernie | 0.251 | 351 | 88 | 13 | 3 | 7 | 43 | 50 | 41 | 65 | 10 |
| Player | AB | AVG | OBP | SLG | OPS |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| A Farm Graham, Garth | 0 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 |
| Brett, George | 15 | 0.133 | 0.133 | 0.133 | 0.266 |
| Burks, Ellis | 29 | 0.276 | 0.389 | 0.483 | 0.872 |
| Clark, Jack | 108 | 0.315 | 0.476 | 0.556 | 1.032 |
| Davis, Alvin | 120 | 0.383 | 0.468 | 0.617 | 1.085 |
| Evans, Dwight | 108 | 0.278 | 0.368 | 0.380 | 0.748 |
| Fisk, Carlton | 96 | 0.417 | 0.447 | 0.750 | 1.197 |
| Franco, Julio | 77 | 0.273 | 0.291 | 0.364 | 0.655 |
| Graham, Garth | 32 | 0.156 | 0.222 | 0.188 | 0.410 |
| Jacoby, Brook | 54 | 0.333 | 0.368 | 0.648 | 1.016 |
| Kelly, Roberto | 99 | 0.343 | 0.405 | 0.556 | 0.961 |
| Lansford, Carney | 93 | 0.280 | 0.376 | 0.419 | 0.795 |
| McGwire, Mark | 4 | 0.500 | 0.600 | 0.500 | 1.100 |
| Oquendo, Jose | 49 | 0.306 | 0.340 | 0.510 | 0.850 |
| Reed, Jody | 104 | 0.202 | 0.252 | 0.231 | 0.483 |
| Smith, Lonnie | 98 | 0.367 | 0.462 | 0.612 | 1.074 |
| Whitt, Ernie | 32 | 0.219 | 0.297 | 0.406 | 0.703 |
| Player | AB | AVG | OBP | SLG | OPS |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| A Farm Graham, Garth | 0 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 |
| Brett, George | 213 | 0.263 | 0.312 | 0.343 | 0.655 |
| Burks, Ellis | 165 | 0.200 | 0.253 | 0.339 | 0.592 |
| Clark, Jack | 201 | 0.189 | 0.313 | 0.423 | 0.736 |
| Davis, Alvin | 359 | 0.284 | 0.393 | 0.421 | 0.814 |
| Evans, Dwight | 367 | 0.221 | 0.339 | 0.379 | 0.718 |
| Fisk, Carlton | 60 | 0.267 | 0.333 | 0.467 | 0.800 |
| Franco, Julio | 397 | 0.292 | 0.333 | 0.441 | 0.774 |
| Graham, Garth | 10 | 0.300 | 0.364 | 0.600 | 0.964 |
| Jacoby, Brook | 12 | 0.417 | 0.417 | 0.917 | 1.334 |
| Kelly, Roberto | 263 | 0.278 | 0.311 | 0.411 | 0.722 |
| Lansford, Carney | 306 | 0.297 | 0.368 | 0.379 | 0.747 |
| McGwire, Mark | 2 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 |
| Oquendo, Jose | 227 | 0.291 | 0.379 | 0.335 | 0.714 |
| Reed, Jody | 221 | 0.226 | 0.304 | 0.348 | 0.652 |
| Smith, Lonnie | 337 | 0.300 | 0.385 | 0.525 | 0.910 |
| Whitt, Ernie | 319 | 0.254 | 0.330 | 0.361 | 0.691 |
Pitchers
Simulated 2026
Real Life 1989
| Player | ERA | WHIP | W | L | SV | G | GS | INN | H | ER | BB | K |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Andersen, Larry | 2.05 | 1.04 | 8 | 0 | 3 | 48 | 0 | 74.2 | 63 | 17 | 15 | 71 |
| Bankhead, Scott | 8.05 | 1.63 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 4 | 4 | 19.0 | 24 | 17 | 7 | 10 |
| Bielecki, Mike | 5.90 | 1.56 | 6 | 4 | 0 | 14 | 14 | 87.0 | 103 | 57 | 33 | 48 |
| Drabek, Doug | 6.02 | 1.66 | 6 | 15 | 0 | 25 | 25 | 145.0 | 191 | 97 | 50 | 70 |
| Hurst, Bruce | 6.33 | 1.73 | 7 | 11 | 0 | 26 | 26 | 150.2 | 222 | 106 | 38 | 103 |
| Lancaster, Les | 2.93 | 1.12 | 7 | 0 | 1 | 39 | 2 | 76.2 | 64 | 25 | 22 | 48 |
| Landrum, Bill | 3.08 | 1.26 | 5 | 2 | 7 | 42 | 0 | 61.1 | 59 | 21 | 18 | 41 |
| Magrane, Joe | 7.45 | 2.07 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 4 | 19.1 | 29 | 16 | 11 | 11 |
| McCaskill, Kirk | 5.71 | 1.65 | 7 | 8 | 0 | 25 | 25 | 143.1 | 192 | 91 | 44 | 70 |
| McClure, Bob | 2.26 | 1.34 | 6 | 2 | 1 | 40 | 0 | 51.2 | 47 | 13 | 22 | 37 |
| Minton, Greg | 4.23 | 1.44 | 2 | 4 | 6 | 42 | 0 | 61.2 | 62 | 29 | 27 | 25 |
| Montgomery, Jeff | 2.31 | 1.17 | 2 | 3 | 25 | 52 | 0 | 85.2 | 77 | 22 | 23 | 99 |
| Moore, Mike | 4.05 | 1.40 | 10 | 10 | 0 | 28 | 28 | 169.0 | 167 | 76 | 69 | 118 |
| Stewart, Dave | 5.00 | 1.94 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 10 | 1 | 18.0 | 27 | 10 | 8 | 15 |
Batting line allowed vs LHB
| Player | AB | AVG | OBP | SLG | OPS | WHIP |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Andersen, Larry | 137 | 0.299 | 0.338 | 0.394 | 0.732 | 1.53 |
| Bankhead, Scott | 46 | 0.239 | 0.321 | 0.500 | 0.821 | 1.46 |
| Bielecki, Mike | 181 | 0.320 | 0.403 | 0.492 | 0.895 | 2.07 |
| Drabek, Doug | 344 | 0.308 | 0.376 | 0.456 | 0.832 | 1.82 |
| Hurst, Bruce | 88 | 0.352 | 0.374 | 0.511 | 0.885 | 1.79 |
| Lancaster, Les | 128 | 0.172 | 0.262 | 0.258 | 0.520 | 1.08 |
| Landrum, Bill | 124 | 0.242 | 0.280 | 0.371 | 0.651 | 1.18 |
| Magrane, Joe | 9 | 0.111 | 0.273 | 0.111 | 0.384 | 1.13 |
| McCaskill, Kirk | 314 | 0.303 | 0.347 | 0.484 | 0.831 | 1.63 |
| McClure, Bob | 43 | 0.093 | 0.259 | 0.116 | 0.375 | 1.00 |
| Minton, Greg | 111 | 0.252 | 0.295 | 0.432 | 0.727 | 1.30 |
| Montgomery, Jeff | 174 | 0.259 | 0.314 | 0.328 | 0.642 | 1.33 |
| Moore, Mike | 340 | 0.256 | 0.326 | 0.347 | 0.673 | 1.47 |
| Stewart, Dave | 42 | 0.333 | 0.378 | 0.500 | 0.878 | 1.82 |
Batting line allowed vs RHB
| Player | AB | AVG | OBP | SLG | OPS | WHIP |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Andersen, Larry | 144 | 0.153 | 0.187 | 0.194 | 0.381 | 0.71 |
| Bankhead, Scott | 33 | 0.394 | 0.412 | 0.818 | 1.230 | 2.10 |
| Bielecki, Mike | 169 | 0.266 | 0.288 | 0.420 | 0.708 | 1.23 |
| Drabek, Doug | 262 | 0.324 | 0.351 | 0.557 | 0.908 | 1.64 |
| Hurst, Bruce | 568 | 0.336 | 0.374 | 0.544 | 0.918 | 1.80 |
| Lancaster, Les | 152 | 0.276 | 0.306 | 0.414 | 0.720 | 1.31 |
| Landrum, Bill | 111 | 0.261 | 0.325 | 0.369 | 0.694 | 1.46 |
| Magrane, Joe | 75 | 0.373 | 0.435 | 0.587 | 1.022 | 2.36 |
| McCaskill, Kirk | 287 | 0.338 | 0.384 | 0.526 | 0.910 | 1.85 |
| McClure, Bob | 150 | 0.287 | 0.339 | 0.347 | 0.686 | 1.57 |
| Minton, Greg | 130 | 0.262 | 0.353 | 0.300 | 0.653 | 1.66 |
| Montgomery, Jeff | 162 | 0.198 | 0.260 | 0.315 | 0.575 | 0.99 |
| Moore, Mike | 311 | 0.257 | 0.322 | 0.383 | 0.705 | 1.45 |
| Stewart, Dave | 37 | 0.351 | 0.419 | 0.486 | 0.905 | 2.25 |
