Fugging Honey Badgers
59-48
Manager: Garth Graham
Radiologist who named his team after an Austrian village with the unmistakable energy of a 55-year-old professional who spent thirty years being The Respectable One and has finally snapped. This is his one act of rebellion. He probably chuckles every time he types it in the league chat. Reading things others can't interpret is his entire professional skill set, and he applied it to a fake baseball roster and it worked.
Injured List
Scott Bankhead
Returns Aug 16
Batters
Simulated 2026
Real Life 1989
| Player | AVG | AB | H | 2B | 3B | HR | RBI | R | BB | K | SB |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| A Farm Graham, Garth | 0.000 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
| Brett, George | 0.258 | 209 | 54 | 6 | 1 | 3 | 26 | 27 | 13 | 17 | 5 |
| Burks, Ellis | 0.162 | 136 | 22 | 4 | 2 | 3 | 18 | 14 | 11 | 27 | 2 |
| Clark, Jack | 0.258 | 213 | 55 | 12 | 3 | 12 | 43 | 30 | 50 | 70 | 1 |
| Davis, Alvin | 0.322 | 394 | 127 | 24 | 2 | 14 | 71 | 62 | 67 | 45 | 1 |
| Evans, Dwight | 0.239 | 376 | 90 | 15 | 5 | 12 | 51 | 63 | 68 | 75 | 1 |
| Fisk, Carlton | 0.369 | 122 | 45 | 10 | 1 | 8 | 37 | 25 | 8 | 17 | 1 |
| Franco, Julio | 0.302 | 368 | 111 | 18 | 5 | 8 | 50 | 49 | 21 | 55 | 9 |
| Graham, Garth | 0.200 | 40 | 8 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 4 | 4 | 6 | 0 |
| Jacoby, Brook | 0.340 | 53 | 18 | 3 | 1 | 4 | 10 | 9 | 1 | 8 | 0 |
| Kelly, Roberto | 0.316 | 282 | 89 | 11 | 3 | 10 | 34 | 51 | 13 | 59 | 16 |
| Lansford, Carney | 0.294 | 343 | 101 | 11 | 0 | 7 | 37 | 63 | 34 | 26 | 8 |
| McGwire, Mark | 0.333 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 |
| Oquendo, Jose | 0.304 | 181 | 55 | 9 | 1 | 2 | 20 | 28 | 22 | 26 | 5 |
| Reed, Jody | 0.221 | 294 | 65 | 9 | 1 | 5 | 31 | 43 | 27 | 46 | 3 |
| Smith, Lonnie | 0.309 | 388 | 120 | 17 | 1 | 22 | 75 | 69 | 52 | 92 | 7 |
| Whitt, Ernie | 0.264 | 295 | 78 | 11 | 2 | 7 | 37 | 40 | 30 | 55 | 7 |
| Player | AB | AVG | OBP | SLG | OPS |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| A Farm Graham, Garth | 0 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 |
| Brett, George | 10 | 0.100 | 0.100 | 0.100 | 0.200 |
| Burks, Ellis | 16 | 0.250 | 0.409 | 0.438 | 0.847 |
| Clark, Jack | 90 | 0.311 | 0.488 | 0.556 | 1.044 |
| Davis, Alvin | 106 | 0.396 | 0.475 | 0.651 | 1.126 |
| Evans, Dwight | 90 | 0.311 | 0.406 | 0.433 | 0.839 |
| Fisk, Carlton | 80 | 0.425 | 0.453 | 0.775 | 1.228 |
| Franco, Julio | 52 | 0.269 | 0.296 | 0.346 | 0.642 |
| Graham, Garth | 31 | 0.161 | 0.229 | 0.194 | 0.423 |
| Jacoby, Brook | 43 | 0.326 | 0.341 | 0.651 | 0.992 |
| Kelly, Roberto | 85 | 0.318 | 0.366 | 0.506 | 0.872 |
| Lansford, Carney | 84 | 0.310 | 0.410 | 0.464 | 0.874 |
| McGwire, Mark | 2 | 0.500 | 0.500 | 0.500 | 1.000 |
| Oquendo, Jose | 36 | 0.333 | 0.359 | 0.583 | 0.942 |
| Reed, Jody | 95 | 0.221 | 0.260 | 0.253 | 0.513 |
| Smith, Lonnie | 89 | 0.360 | 0.458 | 0.607 | 1.065 |
| Whitt, Ernie | 27 | 0.222 | 0.276 | 0.444 | 0.720 |
| Player | AB | AVG | OBP | SLG | OPS |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| A Farm Graham, Garth | 0 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 |
| Brett, George | 199 | 0.266 | 0.308 | 0.352 | 0.660 |
| Burks, Ellis | 120 | 0.150 | 0.208 | 0.267 | 0.475 |
| Clark, Jack | 123 | 0.220 | 0.329 | 0.480 | 0.809 |
| Davis, Alvin | 288 | 0.295 | 0.405 | 0.444 | 0.849 |
| Evans, Dwight | 286 | 0.217 | 0.343 | 0.392 | 0.735 |
| Fisk, Carlton | 42 | 0.262 | 0.311 | 0.452 | 0.763 |
| Franco, Julio | 316 | 0.307 | 0.351 | 0.459 | 0.810 |
| Graham, Garth | 9 | 0.333 | 0.400 | 0.667 | 1.067 |
| Jacoby, Brook | 10 | 0.400 | 0.400 | 0.700 | 1.100 |
| Kelly, Roberto | 197 | 0.315 | 0.333 | 0.472 | 0.805 |
| Lansford, Carney | 259 | 0.290 | 0.362 | 0.363 | 0.725 |
| McGwire, Mark | 1 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 |
| Oquendo, Jose | 145 | 0.297 | 0.375 | 0.352 | 0.727 |
| Reed, Jody | 199 | 0.221 | 0.300 | 0.337 | 0.637 |
| Smith, Lonnie | 299 | 0.294 | 0.379 | 0.505 | 0.884 |
| Whitt, Ernie | 268 | 0.269 | 0.336 | 0.381 | 0.717 |
Pitchers
Simulated 2026
Real Life 1989
| Player | ERA | WHIP | W | L | SV | G | GS | INN | H | ER | BB | K |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Andersen, Larry | 1.98 | 1.08 | 7 | 0 | 3 | 39 | 0 | 59.0 | 51 | 13 | 13 | 62 |
| Bankhead, Scott | 10.80 | 2.16 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 8.1 | 15 | 10 | 3 | 6 |
| Bielecki, Mike | 6.87 | 1.62 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 9 | 9 | 55.0 | 70 | 42 | 19 | 22 |
| Drabek, Doug | 6.85 | 1.78 | 4 | 13 | 0 | 20 | 20 | 110.1 | 152 | 84 | 44 | 55 |
| Hurst, Bruce | 5.81 | 1.64 | 7 | 8 | 0 | 22 | 22 | 131.2 | 182 | 85 | 34 | 90 |
| Lancaster, Les | 3.17 | 1.10 | 6 | 0 | 1 | 38 | 1 | 71.0 | 59 | 25 | 19 | 45 |
| Landrum, Bill | 3.72 | 1.24 | 4 | 1 | 7 | 37 | 0 | 46.0 | 48 | 19 | 9 | 32 |
| Magrane, Joe | 7.45 | 2.07 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 4 | 19.1 | 29 | 16 | 11 | 11 |
| McCaskill, Kirk | 6.16 | 1.70 | 6 | 6 | 0 | 21 | 21 | 115.1 | 158 | 79 | 38 | 55 |
| McClure, Bob | 1.24 | 1.21 | 6 | 2 | 1 | 32 | 0 | 43.2 | 34 | 6 | 19 | 32 |
| Minton, Greg | 3.91 | 1.32 | 2 | 3 | 6 | 33 | 0 | 50.2 | 45 | 22 | 22 | 21 |
| Montgomery, Jeff | 2.77 | 1.25 | 2 | 3 | 21 | 42 | 0 | 65.0 | 64 | 20 | 17 | 73 |
| Moore, Mike | 4.28 | 1.43 | 8 | 9 | 0 | 24 | 24 | 141.0 | 140 | 67 | 61 | 99 |
| Stewart, Dave | 5.00 | 1.94 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 10 | 1 | 18.0 | 27 | 10 | 8 | 15 |
Batting line allowed vs LHB
| Player | AB | AVG | OBP | SLG | OPS | WHIP |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Andersen, Larry | 109 | 0.312 | 0.353 | 0.404 | 0.757 | 1.64 |
| Bankhead, Scott | 19 | 0.316 | 0.381 | 0.579 | 0.960 | 1.85 |
| Bielecki, Mike | 129 | 0.333 | 0.404 | 0.512 | 0.916 | 2.06 |
| Drabek, Doug | 262 | 0.302 | 0.381 | 0.473 | 0.854 | 1.85 |
| Hurst, Bruce | 65 | 0.354 | 0.373 | 0.477 | 0.850 | 1.79 |
| Lancaster, Les | 113 | 0.168 | 0.258 | 0.265 | 0.523 | 1.05 |
| Landrum, Bill | 98 | 0.255 | 0.284 | 0.408 | 0.692 | 1.19 |
| Magrane, Joe | 9 | 0.111 | 0.273 | 0.111 | 0.384 | 1.13 |
| McCaskill, Kirk | 248 | 0.306 | 0.355 | 0.504 | 0.859 | 1.69 |
| McClure, Bob | 32 | 0.125 | 0.300 | 0.156 | 0.456 | 1.29 |
| Minton, Greg | 85 | 0.247 | 0.301 | 0.459 | 0.760 | 1.31 |
| Montgomery, Jeff | 134 | 0.276 | 0.331 | 0.358 | 0.689 | 1.42 |
| Moore, Mike | 281 | 0.253 | 0.328 | 0.352 | 0.680 | 1.49 |
| Stewart, Dave | 42 | 0.333 | 0.378 | 0.500 | 0.878 | 1.82 |
Batting line allowed vs RHB
| Player | AB | AVG | OBP | SLG | OPS | WHIP |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Andersen, Larry | 114 | 0.149 | 0.187 | 0.193 | 0.380 | 0.71 |
| Bankhead, Scott | 21 | 0.429 | 0.455 | 0.905 | 1.360 | 2.50 |
| Bielecki, Mike | 99 | 0.273 | 0.291 | 0.424 | 0.715 | 1.25 |
| Drabek, Doug | 210 | 0.348 | 0.374 | 0.619 | 0.993 | 1.82 |
| Hurst, Bruce | 499 | 0.319 | 0.359 | 0.533 | 0.892 | 1.69 |
| Lancaster, Les | 146 | 0.274 | 0.301 | 0.418 | 0.719 | 1.27 |
| Landrum, Bill | 82 | 0.280 | 0.318 | 0.427 | 0.745 | 1.42 |
| Magrane, Joe | 75 | 0.373 | 0.435 | 0.587 | 1.022 | 2.36 |
| McCaskill, Kirk | 240 | 0.342 | 0.386 | 0.538 | 0.924 | 1.88 |
| McClure, Bob | 126 | 0.238 | 0.297 | 0.294 | 0.591 | 1.28 |
| Minton, Greg | 107 | 0.224 | 0.317 | 0.271 | 0.588 | 1.41 |
| Montgomery, Jeff | 127 | 0.213 | 0.263 | 0.346 | 0.609 | 1.05 |
| Moore, Mike | 263 | 0.262 | 0.328 | 0.376 | 0.704 | 1.50 |
| Stewart, Dave | 37 | 0.351 | 0.419 | 0.486 | 0.905 | 2.25 |
