The Spaceship Slows

CARLATen days ago, the Fugging Honey Badgers were in first place. Twenty-seven and twelve. A six-one-four run differential. Comfortable. They had separation. They had a two-game cushion on the field.

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CARLATen days later — as of this morning — they are in fifth. Twenty-eight and nineteen. They have lost seven of their last ten. They were swept four straight by the Huanca Wankers. The bottom of the human tier starts at their feet.

RAZORStorms don't knock.

CARLAThey don't.

RAZOROne day you're checking the forecast, the next day your siding's in the neighbor's yard.

CARLA(dry) I'm not sure that metaphor survives inspection, but I take your point.

RAZORI'll find a better one by the second segment.

CARLAAnd there's been some movement on the roster side too. We'll get to that.

CARLAWelcome back to Foul Territory, where no perspectives are out of bounds. I'm Carla Streich, alongside color man Razor Shines. We are taping Tuesday, May twenty-seventh, looking at the ledger through Memorial Day weekend in the WLB. A lot of movement to get to.

RAZORStandings got shaken.

CARLANew name on top. Familiar name falling. And a bottom-feeder that has decided it would rather not be one anymore.

CARLALet's walk the league from the top. Iron Knob Explosions — six in a row, eight-and-two in their last ten, and they slide into first place for the first time all season. Andrew Harris may not have the quietest mascot in the WLB, but his team just might be — quietly — the best one.

RAZORQuietest team with the loudest pitching.

CARLAWe'll get there. Knockemstiff Slap Daddies — nine-and-one over their last ten games, riding a two-game winning streak, and making whatever was happening last week look like it belonged to a different season. Houlberg's lineup finally looking the way the scouting reports said it should look.

RAZORNine-and-one.

CARLAIt's a lot.

RAZORIt's everything.

CARLAThe Rick Astleys — thirty-one wins, still the most in the WLB, now sitting in third by percentage points. Two-and-eight over a stretch that didn't feel that bad while it was happening. Burris's crew is probably the only team in baseball that can lead the league in wins and somehow feel like they're being nudged toward the exit.

RAZORThey're fine.

CARLAThey're fine. Huanca Wankers, fourth at twenty-nine and nineteen, dropped three in a row coming into the recording. Spaceship's slowing. Still cruising, but slowing. Nicaragua Crepe Wrappers — eight-and-two in the last ten. Carpenter's group went from one-and-seven to this in basically the time it took to order new uniforms. Fugging Honey Badgers — we'll spend some dedicated time on them in the team breakdowns.

RAZORPlenty to talk about there.

CARLAAnd the two CPU-managed clubs — Oak Ridge Nukes and PC Beach Hurricanes — continue their season-long residency at the bottom.

RAZORThey're struggling to manage like human beings down there.

CARLAWe'll let that sit.

CARLAFormally. Iron Knob thirty-fifteen, six-six-seven. Knockemstiff thirty-nineteen, six-one-two. The Astleys thirty-one-twenty, six-oh-eight. Huanca twenty-nine-nineteen at six-oh-four. Honey Badgers twenty-eight-nineteen at five-nine-six. Nicaragua twenty-seven-twenty, five-seven-four. All six human-managed teams within a hundred points of each other.

RAZORThe top six's all bunched up. It's tight up there.

CARLAAnd then the gap.

RAZORThen the gap.

CARLAOak Ridge at nine-and-forty. PC Beach at seven-and-thirty-nine. Twenty-one games back of the nearest human team.

RAZORThat's not a gap, Carla.

CARLAWhat would you call it?

RAZORThat's an envelope.

CARLASo we'll start with the Honey Badgers because the movement is what the movement is. First place to fifth in ten days. Three-and-seven in the last ten. Swept four straight by Huanca from May nineteenth through May twenty-third. Let's begin with the ball. Razor, what's the actual baseball story here?

RAZORRotation, Carla. Rotation. The back end has gotten hit around. Drabek's sitting on a six-three-eight. Moore's at four-two-eight. McCaskill four-six-six. Three starters, all over four, and when you give up runs at that clip the games get loud quick.

CARLASome of the relief arms are still excellent. Andersen sitting at a one-oh-one. Lancaster at two-oh-one. Mike Montgomery — thirteen saves in fourteen opportunities, which is among the best marks in the league.

RAZORBullpen works. The closer is a weapon. They just can't seem to get him the ball with a lead.

CARLAOffense is fine too, by most measures. Chili Davis is hitting three-fifty-three with a four-five-five on-base. Jack Clark hitting three-sixty-four. Dwight Evans is on a ten-game hit streak — active, still going — right through this collapse.

RAZOREvans doesn't care what the scoreboard says. Guy's in his own little bubble. That's a veteran thing.

CARLAWhitt still at two-ninety-six. The bats are working. It's the arms that aren't holding up.

RAZORSo the baseball story is straightforward. Pitching. Full stop.

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CARLAWhich brings us to the not-quite-baseball story. Honey Badgers made some roster moves on May seventeenth. Bip Roberts — who was hitting four-four-eight in limited appearances — released. Ramon Martinez, released. Joe Magrane re-signed, albeit demoted. Brook Jacoby re-signed. According to team management, there were eligibility questions raised about a couple of the earlier roster moves. Everything had been approved by the Commissioner's office at the time, and the Badgers moved quickly to square things up once those questions came to light.

RAZORYeah.

CARLASo administratively, it's settled.

RAZORAdministratively, it's settled.

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CARLAYou want to say something about it?

RAZORI'm not going to litigate the paperwork. That's above my pay grade and frankly I couldn't follow it if I tried. What I can tell you is that in a clubhouse — and I spent a little time in a few of them — when these things happen, the whole club notices. The room talks. And I guarantee you right now there are players — guys on the Astleys, guys on the Slap Daddies — having a conversation over tape in the trainer's room, and they are using words that are a little warmer than "eligibility questions."

CARLAThere's been some chatter.

RAZORThere's always chatter. That's the league. But — you release a guy of that caliber in the middle of a skid, the other dugouts look up. That's just how competitive people are wired.

CARLATo be clear — the league office has signed off.

RAZORA hundred percent. No issue with any of that. The moves are clean, the protocol held, the Commissioner is on record.

CARLARight.

RAZORHere's what I'll say, though. And this is the part people don't think about. Those guys in the Honey Badger clubhouse — the ones who weren't released, who weren't signed, who are just trying to take BP and get ready for a road trip — their heads are now in the transaction log. They are not thinking about the two-one fastball from the lefty they're going to see Thursday. They are thinking about who's still on the plane. That stuff seeps in. I've seen it.

CARLAHard to separate.

RAZORVery hard. And I think that shows up in a pitching staff before it shows up anywhere else — because pitchers are already the most in their own heads. Hitters you can kind of shake loose with an extra round of BP. A starter standing on the rubber? He is alone up there. He's got whatever he walked out with.

CARLAYou're saying the three-and-seven stretch —

RAZORI'm saying I wouldn't be surprised if some of it is just arms, and some of it is the weight of the week. You can't measure that. But it's real.

CARLAThat tracks.

RAZORAnd look — the Badgers are five-ninety-six. They're still a plus team. This isn't a crisis. It's a stretch. But it's a stretch with some texture.

CARLAMontgomery thirteen-for-fourteen. That's the stabilizer.

RAZORGive him the ball with a lead and most of this goes away.

CARLANew league leader. Iron Knob Explosions. Thirty-fifteen. Hershiser oh-nine-seven ERA, seven-and-oh, two shutouts. Nine quality starts in nine tries. Slugged two-six-three against. He leads the league in earned run average. He leads the league in winning percentage. He leads the league in quality-start rate.

RAZORHe's the best pitcher in the WLB right now.

CARLAKevin Brown also exceptional — two-seven-three, seven-and-one, quietly second in innings.

RAZORBrown's a pro's pro.

CARLAAnd then Greg Maddux. Who we have spent some time on across previous weeks. Three-oh-two, five-and-oh. Opponents slugging three-nine-four against. This is a young man who was sitting at a six-oh-seven back in April and has now pulled the season completely around.

RAZORYep.

CARLAThe Blyleven piece is interesting. Back from the injured list after his quick stint. Two-and-three, three-ninety-six. Veteran, thirty-eight years old, watching a twenty-three-year-old pass him on the rotation ladder.

RAZORThat happens. That happens in every room I was ever in. You show up to camp, the kid's got new cleats, he's throwing ninety-four, and you look around and you realize — yep. That's the job now. That's not you anymore.

CARLADoes it create tension?

RAZORNot usually. The vets in that position, most of them, they saw it coming a year before anyone else did. They're more at peace with it than the fans are.

CARLAChuck Finley landed on the injured list on May twenty-second, expected back June seventeenth. That's a twenty-five-day absence.

RAZORThat's a long one.

CARLATeam hasn't put out much beyond the standard notice. They're calling it general.

RAZORGeneral?

CARLAGeneral.

RAZORHate to speculate, Carla — I really do — but twenty-five days for "general" is a little longer than most. Somebody knows something. I don't need to know what, but somebody knows. You want to wish him well.

CARLAOn the lineup card — Andrew Harris continues to be a presence in the platoon role. Rickey Henderson has twenty-two stolen bases, which leads the league. Strawberry still at two-fourteen, still a hundred-forty-five-pound version of what he's supposed to be.

RAZORHe's going to find it.

CARLAThat's your read.

RAZORHe's going to find it. I'm not going to be the guy who counts Darryl Strawberry out in May.

CARLANoted.

CARLALast Tuesday in the cold open we floated out a nickname.

RAZORWe did.

CARLA(hesitantly, with a wince) "Surrenderdaddies."

RAZORI remember.

CARLANine-and-one over the following ten games.

RAZORBack to Slap Daddies. The nickname did not survive the week.

CARLAWhich brings us to the actual offense, because the whole point of the Slap Daddies was that they were going to hit. And they have continued to do so. Bobby Bonilla — three-ninety batting, four-five-one on-base, seven-thirty slugging. One-one-eight-two OPS. He is leading the league in batting average, in on-base, in slugging, and therefore in OPS.

RAZORHe's leading the league in every way you can lead.

CARLAKevin Mitchell — twenty-three home runs, fifty-three RBI. Both of those lead the league too.

RAZORMonster.

CARLAFred McGriff — nine-eight-one OPS. Ruben Sierra — seven triples, which leads the league. Pedro Guerrero, Paul O'Neill, Mitchell all hitting over three hundred. Top to bottom this is maybe the best bat-one-through-eight offense in the WLB.

RAZORYou look at that lineup, nobody pitches around anybody, because if you pitch around Bonilla you're walking into McGriff. You pitch around McGriff you're walking into Mitchell. There's no relief in that order.

CARLAThe bullpen has come around too. Todd Burns — seven saves in eleven opportunities, which is an improvement from where he was sitting last week.

RAZORHe got back on the bike.

CARLAAnd Steve Bedrosian was promoted to the active roster on May seventeenth. Two innings, no runs.

RAZORSo far so good.

CARLAHoulberg — the player — continues to be a solid contributor. Houlberg the manager — the numbers speak.

RAZORNine and one. They speak.

CARLAWankers now at twenty-nine-nineteen, fourth in percentage, lost three straight to close out the window. Including dropping two of three to Iron Knob. Cone is back — two-two-one ERA, three-and-one. David Cone walking back in the door has to feel like a rescue.

RAZORA healthy Cone is a different rotation.

CARLARobin Yount leads the league in hits, sixty-four. Batting three-fourteen. Kent Hrbek now at seventeen home runs — second in the league — five-seven-eight slugging. Bo Jackson with ten long balls and nineteen stolen bases.

RAZORThat team's fun to watch.

CARLAChris Broyles put together a twelve-game hit streak which ended during the slide. Tied for second longest of the year at the time.

RAZORTwelve is twelve. Doesn't matter when it ends. That's the body of work.

CARLAThe bullpen has wobbled a touch. Smith nine saves in twelve chances — three blown.

RAZORThe spaceship's slowing a little.

CARLAYou keep saying spaceship.

RAZORIt's the right word.

CARLARick Astleys — thirty-one and twenty. That's still the most wins in the league. They have now slid to third in winning percentage. The Astleys are a team that does absolutely everything reasonably well, and seem to get the thinnest possible margin back from it.

RAZORThat's Burris's ballclub.

CARLAScott Garrelts — one-eight-nine ERA, six-and-oh. Bryan Smith seven-and-three, team leader in wins. Dennis Eckersley — twelve saves in thirteen opportunities. Boggs at two-eighty-eight with a four-oh-two on-base. Eric Davis thirty-eight runs, fourteen home runs.

RAZORNothing wrong with that team.

CARLADante Astley — nine home runs. Right in the top ten.

RAZORHe brings energy.

CARLALou Whitaker is on the injured list until June first. That's meaningful. He was hitting two-seven-eight with a four-oh-five on-base — that on-base number is the one they'll miss.

RAZORYou lose a four-oh-five on-base out of your two-hole and the whole lineup reorganizes around it. You feel it.

CARLAThat's the Astleys.

CARLAAnd Nicaragua. Eight-and-two in the last ten. They were one-and-seven before this stretch. Roger Clemens — seventy-nine strikeouts, three-three-nine ERA, five-and-three. Strikeout leader in the league. Jim Acker — six-and-oh, winning percentage one thousand.

RAZORClemens is Clemens.

CARLAGregg Olson ten saves in eleven. Kirby Puckett — three-oh-two, sixty-two hits, forty-one runs. Five for five stealing.

RAZORThat's the Puckett I remember.

CARLAHarold Baines at three-twenty with a four-fifteen on-base. Five intentional walks, which also leads the league. Don Mattingly three-twelve. Kevin Seitzer three-thirteen with a four-fourteen on-base, and he is new on the leaderboards this week.

RAZORWrappers quietly got good.

CARLAMark Langston — five-one-oh ERA, which is down from the five-nine-one we saw last week. Not a fixed situation yet but it's at least not getting worse.

RAZORStep one with a guy in a bad patch is to stop getting worse. Step two is some other day.

CARLAThat's Carpenter's group. One-and-seven to eight-and-two. Something's working.

CARLAQuick injured list tour. Chuck Finley, Iron Knob, return date June seventeenth. That's the meaty one.

RAZORTwenty-five days.

CARLALou Whitaker, Rick Astleys, June first. Mark Gardner, PC Beach, May twenty-ninth. Fairly quiet otherwise.

RAZORThat Finley date will get watched.

CARLAMoving on.

CARLABold Predictions. And before we do new ones, let's settle up.

RAZORAccountability.

CARLABack in episode four I predicted Honey Badgers would release a starter before the end of April.

RAZORThey released John Cerutti on April twenty-sixth.

CARLAHit.

RAZORSolid hit.

CARLAYour prediction was Nicaragua would win a series against a five-hundred-or-better team.

RAZORAnd they did. Took two of three from the Astleys May seventeenth and eighteenth. Also got after Iron Knob earlier in the month.

CARLAAlso a hit.

RAZORWe're batting a thousand.

CARLAFor now. New predictions, episode eight.

RAZORGo.

CARLAI'll say — one of the six human teams currently between five-seven-four and six-six-seven in win percentage will drop below five hundred before the All-Star break.

RAZORTop to bottom the human tier is bunched.

CARLAIt is bunched. Something in there is going to get stretched.

RAZOROkay. My turn.

CARLAYours.

RAZORFirst trade of the season — an actual inter-team trade, two GMs on the phone — happens before Memorial Day.

CARLAThat's three days from now.

RAZORI know.

CARLAThat's a very bold prediction.

RAZORI've seen the rosters. I've watched the week. Somebody is picking up the phone. Somebody already has. I just don't know who.

CARLAYou want to amend that?

RAZORNo.

CARLAAll right. For the record.

CARLAWe have a call. Mel, you're on Foul Territory.

MELCarla. Razor. Great episode so far, great work today.

RAZORMel, how are you.

MELI am — I am working from notes as usual. Taxes are due, which is a separate issue we can leave alone, but I have my baseball notes in order, Carla, I promise you.

CARLAWhat do you have for us, Mel.

MELOrel Hershiser.

CARLAThe Cy Young favorite as of this morning.

MELI want to — I want to say something about Orel Hershiser that I don't think has gotten its due. I brought it up back in — I think it was episode three — and I don't blame anyone for where the conversation went that day, it was a busy show, but I've been following this and I have the numbers in front of me.

MELOrel Hershiser has pitched for a team that, for most of the first month and a half of the season, has given him about the fourth-worst run support in the WLB. I tracked this. Week by week. I have it here on a — I have a yellow pad and I have it here week by week.

RAZORGo on.

MELHe went six-and-oh at one point while his team was averaging fewer than four runs for him on the nights he started. Now — I want to say that out loud. That is a man pitching on a tightrope. Because the moment his team gave up more than two or three runs, he was in a close game, every time. Every start. That puts a different kind of pressure on a pitcher than what the raw numbers suggest.

CARLAIt's a pitcher's-duel frame of mind.

MELIt is, Carla, and I don't think the broader audience understands that. When you see a one-point-one-one ERA, or in his case now oh-nine-seven, you think — that's brilliance. And it is. But brilliance without margin is a different kind of brilliance than brilliance with a multi-run cushion. When Scott Garrelts over on the Astleys has six-point-eight runs a start to work with, that's — that's a different occupation.

RAZORIt is different. That's absolutely right.

MELSo my point is not to say that anyone here on the show has downplayed Hershiser, that's not what I'm saying. My point is that when the baseball-writers-of-America voters, at the end of the year, sit down with the candidates — I want on record that Orel Hershiser did this without the lineup behind him. That's all. Six-and-oh at the time I was tracking it, very little support, and he kept putting zeros on the board because that was the game he was asked to pitch.

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CARLAThank you, Mel.

RAZORIt's a good point, Mel. I also want to add something — at some point you stop calling it run support, and you just start calling it what it is. Which is — that's a man doing his job alone. That's how you describe it. You describe it by what he did, not by what he had.

MELThat's well put, Razor.

RAZORWell, you made it easy to say.

MELI appreciate that.

CARLA(warm) We appreciate you, Mel. Good stretch of calls recently.

MELThank you, Carla. I've enjoyed following — (off-mic)

DONNA(from background, clear) Good. Now you can help finish our taxes. They were due LAST week!

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MELShe is — she is correct about that.

CARLA(laughing) Good luck with all that, Mel.

MELI'm going to get off the line. It has been, as always, a pleasure. I'll be listening.

RAZORWe'll be here, Mel.

MELGood day, folks.

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CARLAMel Kowalski, everyone.

RAZORThat man has been earning his yellow pad all season.

CARLAHe has. And if you out there — if you are a listener who has been thinking about picking up the phone — Mel did, and it worked out for him.

RAZORLine's open.

CARLALook forward to hearing from you.

CARLAThat is episode eight. New leader in the Iron Knob Explosions. A collapse and a comeback in the middle. Mel got his moment. Next week the bold predictions ledger gets revisited, the Bold Predictions may be giving way to the Trade Watch window pretty soon, and we'll see who picked up the phone.

RAZORAnd who didn't.

CARLAFor Razor Shines, I'm Carla Streich. This has been Foul Territory.

RAZORZero credentials —

CARLA— zero apologies.

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