The Limit

FADE IN. Stadium ambience low under.

CARLAThere was a straight-up brawl at Wrigley Field on Tuesday.

beat

CARLAThe pitcher who may have started it is fine. Two pitchers who had nothing to do with the play, or the game in general, ended up on the injured list.

beat

CARLAWelcome to Foul Territory.

THEME UP, THEN UNDER.

CARLAI'm Carla Streich. With me, as always, Razor Shines. Through July sixth, World League Baseball Season One.

RAZORThrough July sixth, and we are going to spend a little time on one particular inning. Of one specific game.

CARLAWe are.

RAZORThe rest of the show can wait six minutes.

CARLAIndeed.

CARLATuesday, June thirtieth. Wrigley Field. Knockemstiff Slap Daddies at the Huanca Wankers. Final score, nine to two, Knockemstiff.

RAZORThat's the easy part of the story.

CARLAMelido Perez pitched eight innings for the Slap Daddies. He gave up two runs. He walked nobody. One hundred and ten pitches, seventy-five for strikes. He got the win.

beat

CARLAHe was not injured.

RAZOR(slow) He was not injured.

CARLAIn the second inning of that game — Knockemstiff leading two to nothing, two outs, bases empty — Perez hit Bo Jackson with a pitch.

RAZORThe pitch sequence, Carla, if anybody's keeping score at home — was ball, strike, foul, ball, hit batter. I'd say that's not a pitcher who walked out of the dugout looking to hit somebody. That is just a fastball that got in on a hitter.

CARLAAnd on a particular hitter.

RAZORI'd try not to hit him.

beat

CARLAIn a jumble of activity that followed, Nolan Ryan and John Smoltz ended up on the one-day injured list, despite not even being deployed in the game.

beat

CARLABo Jackson was ejected. Carter ran for him. Broyles popped out to the catcher and the inning ended.

RAZORNow.

beat

RAZORI want to be careful here. I wasn't in the dugout. Nobody at home was in the dugout. The official scoresheet says "brawl" — which is a category of injury we have not previously had occasion to discuss on this program. So I'm going to do my best.

CARLAGo ahead.

RAZORWhat I heard — and I haven't seen the tape, nobody's seen the tape — is that Ryan was first out of the dugout. Smoltz came right behind him. Now, they've got the next two starts in the Knockemstiff rotation. They didn't have to be involved.

beat

RAZORBut they decided otherwise.

short pause

RAZORHere's the thing about bench-clearing, Carla. People who haven't been in one assume it's a fistfight. It's not. It's a scrum. It's a moving wall of forty guys in spikes trying to occupy the same square of dirt. Some of them are trying to throw a punch. Most of them are trying to hold somebody back. A few of them are trying to find somebody to hold back. And the math of forty bodies on one patch of infield grass — it doesn't take a punch to get hurt.

CARLAWhat does it take?

RAZORA spike landing wrong. A shove from behind. The bottom of a pile. Somebody grabs your shoulder to pull you back and you turn the wrong way. I saw a guy tear a hamstring on a peacemaking trip in eighty-six. He didn't throw a punch. He didn't get punched. He was a rookie trying to look like he was helping — sprinted out, planted, and pulled it. Three weeks on the DL.

beat

CARLAAnd the rule is — you go.

RAZORYou go. You have to go. Your guy is out there. If you stay in the dugout, you hear about it for a month. Doesn't matter if you're hurt or healthy or starting tomorrow or just got out of the trainer's room. The dugout empties. The bullpen empties. The clubhouse manager empties. Everybody goes.

beat

RAZORAnd pitchers, Carla — pitchers are the worst-equipped for what happens in there. Their bodies are built for one repetitive motion. They protect the arm. Which means they take everything else wrong. Position player goes down in a pile, he tucks. Pitcher goes down in a pile, he's twisting to keep one shoulder up. That's how you end up with a one-day injury.

CARLAFor both of them.

RAZORMm.

beat

RAZORNow — Ryan is thirty-eight. He's been in a hundred of these. He knows the math. But he's also Nolan Ryan. And the man who hit Bo Jackson is a teammate. So he goes. Smoltz is following him because Smoltz is following the senior arm in the rotation. The kid does what the vet does.

CARLAAnd the vet was first out.

RAZORHe was.

beat

RAZORThat's what's in your head when you're running. You're not thinking about Thursday's start. You're thinking about getting your hands on somebody you do not actually need to get your hands on. And by the time you remember Thursday, you're already at the bottom of the pile.

short pause

CARLAThe pitcher who threw the pitch is fine, continued in the game unabated. The batter who was hit was ejected, but not really hurt I hear. Yet two pitchers who were not even in the game actually got injured, although returned the next day.

short pause

RAZORI'll tell you what this is, Carla. There's a thing about beating a team ten out of eleven. It tells you something about the team you're beating. And the thing it told us last Tuesday is that there is a limit.

beat

RAZORWe found it.

CARLAAnd then the Slap Daddies scored seven more runs.

RAZORYes they did.

CARLAThey won the game by seven.

RAZORMake of that what you will.

beat

RAZORThe Slap Daddies finally lived up to the name.

beat — let it land

CARLABack in a moment with the standings.

CARLAStandings through July sixth. Rick Astleys, fifty-six and twenty-four, seven hundred. Iron Knob Explosions, fifty-four and twenty-five, six-eighty-four. One and a half back.

beat

CARLAKnockemstiff Slap Daddies, fifty and thirty-two. Six-ten. Six and a half back.

RAZORFive tiers in a six-team race ago. Now it's something else.

CARLAFugging Honey Badgers — fourth. Forty-six and thirty-four, five-seventy-five.

RAZORThe Badgers clawed back up.

CARLAHuanca Wankers — fifth. Forty-five and thirty-eight, five-forty-two.

RAZORAnd the Wankers slid.

CARLANicaragua Crepe Wrappers — sixth. Forty-one and thirty-eight, five-nineteen.

beat

CARLAOn a six-game losing streak.

RAZORSliding faster.

CARLAOak Ridge — sixteen and sixty-four. Panama City Beach, thirteen and sixty-six.

RAZORStill in the envelope.

CARLAThe Rick Astleys' winning streak is at seventeen.

beat

RAZORAnd we're going to do the math on it. Carla — who'd they play?

CARLAOf the seventeen games, three were against Panama City Beach. Three were against Oak Ridge. Six were against the Crepe Wrappers. Two were at the Honey Badgers. One was at Knockemstiff. Two were at Huanca.

beat

CARLATwelve of those seventeen wins came against the three teams sitting sixth, seventh, and eighth in the standings.

RAZORThat's not a knock. That's geography. They won the games they were supposed to win, and they won them on the schedule the league handed them.

CARLAThe pitching was real.

RAZORThe pitching was real. Garrelts, Smith, DeLeon, the bullpen — they were not allowing runs. Two-twenty, two-forty-five, three-twenty-three. Three starters in the league's top six in earned run average. Mark Grace had the game-winning RBI in seven of those games. They scored in bunches and gave up nothing.

beat

RAZORBut they did not play the Iron Knob Explosions.

CARLAThey have not played the Iron Knob Explosions since June tenth.

RAZORThe head-to-head card is still in the wallet, Carla.

CARLAThe wallet's getting heavier.

beat

RAZORAnd we said it last episode and I'll say it again — twelve and zero.

beat

RAZORWe're still walking.

CARLA(small) Marking it down.

short pause

CARLAThe other half of this stretch is the team in second place.

RAZORThe team that owns the team in first place.

CARLAIron Knob is fifty-four and twenty-five. Seven and three in their last ten. They closed the stretch with a five-game winning streak.

RAZORThat sounds like a team also in cruise control.

CARLAIt is, mostly.

RAZORMostly.

CARLAIn the same window the Astleys were winning seventeen — Iron Knob played the bottom of the league three times.

beat

CARLAAnd lost three of those games.

RAZORHold on.

CARLAJune twenty-fourth, in eleven innings, they lost to Panama City Beach. Eight to seven.

RAZORMm.

CARLAJune twenty-fifth, the back end of a doubleheader, they lost to Oak Ridge. Two to one.

RAZORMm.

CARLAAnd June twenty-eighth, they lost to Panama City Beach again. Four to three.

beat

RAZORThe team currently in second place lost three games to the two teams currently in seventh and eighth. Inside of five days.

CARLAThey did.

RAZORThe Astleys won seventeen. The Explosions lost three to the bottom. That is a one-and-a-half-game lead change explained by two stories happening on the same calendar.

CARLAIt is.

beat

CARLAAnd on the way to that — Razor — we have a caller.

RAZORWho is it?

CARLAProducer's telling me Kevin's back on the line.

RAZOROh?

CARLAKevin, you're on Foul Territory.

KEVIN(slightly winded, paper rustling) Hi guys. Um.

RAZORKevin. Long time.

KEVINYeah, sorry, I — I had a question? About the Iron Knob rotation? But I think it kind of — I think it kind of answered itself? I don't know if I should still ask it.

CARLAAsk it, Kevin.

KEVINOkay. So like, a long time ago I called and I asked if Iron Knob actually had a rotation, or just three guys. Because Blyleven was old and hurt and Finley had like a high ERA and was hurt and Glavine had only pitched like thirteen innings.

CARLAYou did ask that.

KEVINYeah. And, um — I was just looking at the page tonight and like — Glavine is two-twenty-five now. In five starts. Four quality starts.

beat

KEVINAnd Finley is four-point-seven-two.

beat

KEVINAnd, like — so the kid is good now? And the other guy isn't? Like — doesn't that mean the question already answered itself? Without me?

short pause

RAZORKevin.

KEVIN...Yeah?

RAZORIt did indeed.

beat

KEVINOkay. Um. So I guess I just wanted to — to ask if that's right.

RAZORYou're reading the page right, Kevin.

KEVINCool. Okay. Bye.

CLICK

short pause

CARLA(small) Marking it down.

RAZORBrown is at two-seven-four. Hershiser is at two-six-three. Blyleven is at two-eighty-four. The old man came back better than he left and he is now leading the league in walks per nine and shutouts.

CARLAOne-point-two and four.

RAZOROne-point-two and four. At thirty-eight. Maddux is at three-sixty-one. Eight and two. And Glavine — the kid we asked about — has stepped in behind Finley, who lost the role.

beat

RAZORThat's a four-man rotation. They have one. They earned it.

CARLAAnd they lost three games to Oak Ridge and Panama City Beach in five days.

RAZORYes they did. Even a four-man rotation has a Tuesday night.

CARLAKnockemstiff, third place. Fifty and thirty-two. The team we already talked about. Razor — one note from there before we move on.

RAZORTell me.

CARLABonilla. Three-seventy-four batting. Four-thirty on-base. Seven-oh-five slugging. One-one-three-four OPS.

beat

CARLAHe's still leading the league in five different things.

RAZORHe is having a season we are going to be talking about in October. Mitchell with thirty-four home runs, league leader. McGriff, O'Neill, Sierra all hitting.

beat

RAZORA lineup like that is in third place. The pitching gives the runs back almost as fast as they score them.

CARLAAnd before we leave Knockemstiff, Razor — Burns has settled in. Some.

RAZORSome.

CARLAEight saves on twelve opportunities. Save percentage in the high six-hundreds.

RAZORThat's not "settled." That's "less alarming." There's a difference.

CARLA(smiling) Noted.

short pause

CARLAHoney Badgers — fourth. Forty-six and thirty-four. Climbed up two spots in this stretch. Seven and three in their last ten.

RAZORThey climbed on the back of the bullpen, Carla. That's the story. Their starters' earned run average is north of four. Their relief corps has thirty-five saves — most in baseball — on a seven hundred conversion rate. League's best.

CARLAMcClure at one-oh-six. Andersen at one-thirty-eight, six and oh. Montgomery — twenty saves, twenty-four-seven earned run average.

RAZORThat is a bullpen carrying a rotation. The Honey Badgers' bullpen is the season.

beat

CARLAThe bullpen is the season.

short pause

CARLAA housekeeping note from the Badgers roster. Joe Magrane has made some starts. The numbers are what they are. The bullpen has handled the rest.

RAZORThat's where we'll leave it.

CARLAWankers — fifth. Forty-five and thirty-eight. Three and seven in their last ten. Swept by Knockemstiff. Swept by the Astleys. They lost to Panama City Beach on Saturday.

beat

CARLAAnd Lee Smith now has six blown saves.

RAZORSix.

CARLAA save percentage of five-twenty-eight.

RAZORThat's how a team in fifth place gets to fifth place when its offense and rotation look fine.

beat

RAZORCone came back. The rotation hole closed. The other one didn't.

short pause

CARLACrepe Wrappers — sixth. Forty-one and thirty-eight. Six-game losing streak.

CARLAThey were shut out by the Astleys twice in three games. Three-nothing, six-nothing, fourteen to five.

RAZORTwo shutouts and a beating.

CARLAThen shut out by Iron Knob on July fifth. Eight to nothing.

RAZORTwo of the best teams in the league in six straight games — and the Crepe Wrappers scored fewer than ten runs total.

CARLAAnd Carla's prediction, Razor — episode eight — that one of our six top teams currently above five hundred drops below it before the All-Star break?

RAZORStill alive.

CARLAThree teams in the candidate range. The Crepe Wrappers are now the closest.

RAZOROne bad week and they're under.

CARLAWe'll be watching.

CARLAQuick injured list tour. Gregg Olson — Crepe Wrappers closer — placed on the injured list July sixth. General. Ten days.

RAZORThat's tough timing. Their closer goes down at the end of a six-game losing streak. Although — they weren't really pitching in save situations. So.

CARLAWitt of Panama City Beach, five days remaining. Jordan of Panama City Beach, four days. Otherwise the IL is quiet.

RAZORMove on.

CARLATrade Watch. Three updates from last episode.

RAZOROne.

beat

RAZORA name we mentioned. We didn't make a prediction. We just observed the room. John Wetteland — Rick Astleys — signed June seventh. First win for them on July sixth. Six and a third innings of relief on the year. We're not taking a victory lap, Carla. We noticed the room. The room moved.

CARLA(small) Marking it down.

RAZORTwo.

beat

RAZORThe Slap Daddies still need a back-end arm. Burns has settled — Carla's word, not mine — but he's still in the high sixes for save percentage. Knockemstiff has been linked, by which I mean nobody, to several names. Nothing has moved.

CARLAThe phone may have rung. It may not have.

RAZOREither way, no transaction. Three.

beat

RAZORThe Crepe Wrappers question. Last episode we said it was unresolved. Buyer or seller. (beat) Carla, I think the standings just gave us the question's first hint of an answer.

CARLASix and a half back of Knockemstiff. Eight and a half back of Iron Knob. Eleven and a half back of the Astleys.

RAZORA team with that rotation and those bats does not become a seller on the road to oblivion. They become a seller if and only if they decide the road back is too long. We are not there yet. But the question has more weight than it did two weeks ago.

CARLAWe'll see what Carpenter does.

RAZORCarpenter knows. We don't.

beat

RAZORThat's Trade Watch.

CARLAProducer's telling me we have a call. Welcome back to Foul Territory.

PATTYHey Carla. Hey Razor. Just got off shift. Television's still on.

RAZORPatty. We've missed you on the line.

PATTYMm.

CARLAWhat've you been watching?

PATTYThe Wankers lost to Panama City Beach on Saturday.

beat

PATTYThe Hurricanes have thirteen wins. They got one of them off Lee Smith in the ninth.

RAZORThat's right.

PATTYAnd it got me thinking. Of the eight teams in this league, four of them have a real closer. Montgomery, Eckersley, Olson — when he's not on the injured list — and Davis.

beat

PATTYAnd then there's whatever's going on in Huanca and Knockemstiff.

short pause

RAZOR(carefully) Patty. You're calling our show now.

PATTYI'm telling you what I'm watching.

CARLA(small) She's not wrong, Razor.

RAZORShe's not wrong.

beat

PATTYThat's all I've got. Game's coming back from break. I gotta change the channel for the regulars.

RAZORPatty.

PATTYYeah.

RAZORThanks for calling.

PATTYThanks for taking it.

CLICK

short pause

RAZORThe bullpen is the season, Carla. The bartender knows it.

CARLAThe bartender knows it.

CARLAThat's our show. Seventeen in a row for the Astleys. The Iron Knob still holds the card. The bullpen is still the season. And Mel's column on the hot corner is still pending.

RAZORWe owe him.

CARLAWe do.

RAZORWe'll be back when the league serves up the next batch.

CARLAFor Razor Shines, I'm Carla Streich. Foul Territory.

beat

CARLASix managers. Two hosts. One phone line.

THEME UP. FADE.